Friday, October 18, 2013

Never let me go... Thoughts on turning 26

This month has been really weird for me... I've been more
emotional and stressed out than usual, days have passed by
faster than I could say "days" and I still had constant feeling that
I haven't done enough or not as fast as I have expected.
Not a single one of these almost 19 days of October, that I have felt
energised and I have lacked motivation for pretty much anything.
Maybe it's been the change of the seasons, the cold, the shortage of
daylight... but I think that the big reason why I have felt like this is
because I knew that I'm turning 26 this month.

I used to love my birthdays, every time when the time came
to turn a year older I had no problem with it, quite the opposite, but
somehow this year it's been a big problem for me.
As if I just want to stop the time and stay 25 for another year.

When I look back through the past 5 years... Oh boy, so much has
happened, my life has changed completely and has been thrown upside down
so many times. I have seen, done, experienced so much, yet I feel that
I'm not in the place where I want to be.

Life is a funny thing... There's no a guide through life, to what and when life
will bring onto you. I feel that the past 5 years were really hard on me but
at the same time have thought me a lot!

I have learned how to be patient, how to love, how to follow your heart,
how to appreciate the smallest things, how to be responsible...
I have fought sadness, depression, I gave birth to a beautiful little human,
I have learned new language, travelled, found and lost myself 1000 times,
fought, loved, cried, laughed, been companion, friend, sister, mom, daughter...

YET! I feel that I haven't done everything I wanted to do by this age, nor
I have seen or experienced everything I have planned to, but you know how they
say, while people are making plans, gods are laughing at them :)

One thing that makes me more calm about tomorrow is the hope and belief
that in next 5 years I will be able to say that I'm happy where I am then,
to feel fulfilled and at pace, at least in some ways...

Some of my family members won't be able to share the "celebration" moment
with me tomorrow, but I'm happy to have the best girls company in form of my
daughter and sister while eating my birthday cake :D

Have a great weekend everyone!


  1. U potpunosti te razmumijem, veoma slično se i ja osjećam i baš me zadnja dva dana drži neko čudno raspoloženje u vezi svega toga. Ukratko rečeno, što više razmišljam, gore se osjećam, a trenutačno si ne mogu pomoći :))

    Želim ti najsretniji mogući rođendan, super se zabavi i udri brigu na veselje :D :**

  2. nice post sweety! let's follow each other???
    if u have pleasure honey come to see my new it is..:


  3. Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. - John Lennon

    I just turned 25 and the same thing happend to me. I was feelling the same so I undestand exactly what you're going through. But it's just a feelling. You'll be enjoying your birthday with your family and you'll realize that you are having a wonderfull day with the people you love.
    Doubts like that always come, especially when birthdays are close. But all you have to do is making new plans and you'll be walking through your dreams again!!!
    I had a crisis, but now I feel so much better. It's just a moment, and then it'll pass...
    I love your blog, and even though a rarely comment, I read it everytime!!!
    I wish the best for you! You're so beatifull!!!

    Lots of love and kisses from Argentina (yeees, I live thaaan far!!!).

    1. Thank you so much for such a beautiful and encouraging comment. I'm glad that you're now feeling better and being more positive. I know that these moments come and go, the highs and lows are just a normal thing in every person's life, but while you're going through the lows, it can be quite confusing/ lost period, but after rain always comes sun, right? :) Kisses all the way to the Argentina :)

  4. I turn 27 next month and I definitely haven't done the things I wanted to do at this age. I wanted a child by now and a better career but I guess there's still time, we're not ancient yet!

  5. love this type of post ! :))

  6. Aww, happy 26th. Don't worry and just take each day at a time and have fun and work toward what you love. I think you'll have a great year, but you're right I noticed time goes by faster and faster

    xo from San Francisco & Switzerland

  7. ./sigh...26? I'm turning 28 and I sometimes hate it. I wish I could be turning 26, you lucky girl! But honestly? Age is what you make of it. Cheesy, I know, but true. I'm turning 28 in December, my husband just turned 23 and everyone thinks he's older than me! No lie, people are shocked when they hear I'm married, thinking I'm only 17 or 18. And when they ask how I do it, I tell them that at heart I'm still a kid at heart. I have FUN with life. You only live once and I don't let anything or anyone (including myself) hold me back because one day I won't be able to do certain things and I don't want to live with the regret that I could have done something and I didn't do it, you know?

    Anyway, happy 26th~
    I'm sure you'll have a splendid time

  8. Dearest Natali, first of all 26 is still such a young age and you have plenty of time to do so many things in front of you so don't get discouraged !. I have to say I can relate to you, not for the age, but because I am a happy person but also a person that always feels this hunger, I have this unfulfilled hunger inside of me and I don't know what to do to feel totally at peace and fulfilled. I think anyway that smart, sensitive people can't help feeling this way a bit, we know we could do more with our potential and we are afraid to waste our time and our lives !.
    I think you already achieved a few amazing things that only a few people have: you even had an exibit in New York, I would be over the moon with that. I am stuck in an office job but I would want to do more, but I stay there because I like my salary and I know that it's not easy to find something more creative. You have a daughter, a beautiful child and I am so afraid to change my life that I have doubts about when and even if having one. Ok, I will stop babbling, but I just wanted to let you know I am here also as a friend if you need to talk, just drop me an e-mail if you wanna talk some more ! A big hug <3

    Fashion and Cookies

  9. It's SOOO MUCH Fun turning 26!!!! Enjoy!!! Enjoy!!! Have a cupcake for me!
    xoThe Beckerman Girls

  10. 26 is still a baby!!!!. Have a super happy birthday.

  11. Happy Birthday! Natali, you should be satisfied with what you have done. Many of us are passive about our lives, but you follow your dreams, it´s great! For me, the biggest thing I have done, was buying a ticket for HIM gig in July, even though I didn´t know what my timetable at school would look like in October. So on Sunday I was in Vienna and it was awesome! 2 weeks and he will be home and celebrate with you ;) Good luck with your work!

  12. Cute post!!
    twitter & instagram : @fashionrlounge
    Fashion room lounge

    A chic kiss ;)


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